Okay, so if you have clicked on the link assuming it’s about my self gratification… ahem…you’re still on the right page.
So let me start with a narrative about my descent into a phase of lethargy, complacency and instant gratification.
The past few days (well.. what started off as a few days, ended up turning to months), I’ve been slogging my ass off, trying to focus on one thing at a time instead of juggling with multiple acts.
Wait! Did I just say I was slogging my ass off?
Now you must be thinking, ‘But, Priya.. You said that your narration is about how you slid into a phase of lethargy, complacency blah blah..’
Yes, it is, and let me tell you where the complacency happened.
Was I complacent about my usual routine?
So, apart from my regular tasks, everyday I would take out time to do something out of my comfort zone.. Something that would let me climb the rungs of my ambition, towards my future self. I got complacent about putting in that extra effort every day towards my personal development.
Before I got carried away with a non productive life, this is what my routine looked like :
1. Wake up early in the morning, usually 7.30 am
2. Suryanamaskar (A daily morning stretch routine)
3. Get ready to go to work
5. Back home around 6
6. Here is when I would start working on a side hustle. In case you don’t know it yet, it’s infornicle.
The hard work I put in to make Infornicle a success allowed me to learn and develop skills I could never have gained from any college education. Hands on experience is a thousand fold important than any graduation from reputed institutions.
Let me save the nitty gritty of what I learnt while working towards Infornicle’s success for another post. What I want to talk about is, why I lapsed into a phase of self doubt & anxiety although everything was going on well & at a set pace. There was a point when the self doubt bloated to such an extent that it pushed me to a verge of giving it all up.
‘STOP TRYING!’ My tired mind screamed many times.
It all started with preparations for an event, that lasted for 2-3 weeks. Come to think if it, maybe I shouldn’t have given in to the brief period of fun and excitement, as it left me no time to stay consistent with my ambitions. By the time I got home every day, I’d be drained. Soon I made it a habit to bury my brain with some mindless entertainment before falling off to sleep. This slowly turned vicious, sapping out the will and hunger to be more, to be better, to create more.
Once the event ended, something else happened to me that would not allow me to come out of the pit of lethargy.
It was keeping up with the rat race.
The whole climb up the corporate ladder sucks you deep into its pit and you don’t even realise it. Before you know it… Poof! Your life has disappeared from right under your nose and you are left wondering where in the world the years went by?
So, while I was harrowing my way from the bottom of the ladder, upwards, my other endeavours took a back seat. All I wanted to do was take some time off from writing, from working hard on my dreams & from self development. The little thing called attitude, that makes a big difference, went missing, and that took a huge toll on me- on my self respect and dignity.
I let go of the momentum behind me ‘coz of a slight stumble.
But its okay… You sway, you stagger, but you keep at it and you’ll eventually get there. Consistency is the key.
This is how one gives in to life’s challenges. Other things take precedence and your dreams get put into the back seat. If you’re reading this, maybe you’ve been through, going through, or may in future, go through life’s challenges and they may intimidate you to no end. Just letting you know that it happens to everyone. We all have thought of saying “Fuck it” and retiring to the Himalayas.
Instead of letting life decide where it wants to take me, if I’d just push myself a little and make it a habit to work on myself, write everyday, work out, network & read more and more books that matter, maybe I could inch a step closer to my dreams…
PS: Let’s see how long I’m able to keep this up though.