Now, who is Marinara? I cannot answer that. You can stop reading right now, trust me, I will not reveal. She is much more than what you all perceive. She is unfathomable. Lets not get into me describing her now, because i will end up writing a thesis on that. You see, I am a keen observer. And fact will remain, I am still a human somewhere deep inside. And that “Human” sometimes is mesmerized by some rare species. Someone like MARINARA. And when that happens, I loose all sense of control over my sense organs. She is like an electromagnet and I am the lone valence electron dying to flash towards her. Gosh! I cannot write so much romance. No, Alcatraz, you cannot. But you see, Alcatraz is quite tumbled up these days. I haven’t slept in a long time, haven’t written a word in any of my upcoming scripts, it’s just her. I keep replaying in my mind how I will pass a smile at her, which ultimately never happens. Yes, I vibrate like a fully charged phone in front of her. I cannot talk, cannot look into her eyes, cannot even catch a glimpse of her when I know she’s looking at me.
I come back, think about her, tell myself that the very next day I will go and stare into her eyes and grab her hand. Serve her my feelings on a platter and feel better. That, hysterically, never happens. The Lord did not make me like that. I cannot look at those eyes with which I want to revive my life, travel miles in them and wander around like a nomad. Those eyes!!!
So, the point now is basically, I am never going to have the courage to tell her she means so much to me. I am still attempting to smile back at her. And I know, I will perhaps be too late even if that someday that happens. So, I decided to message her and tell that I’ve been stalking her since the day I saw her.
“I just control myself because I have very strong feelings for you.”
That was the message that ruined my life. That just happened in the moment and I didn’t realize I would scare her off. It was better the way it was, just staring at her without her ever knowing about it. But, then she makes me go insane. Sometimes, I wonder if I ever really was like this. Crazy, lunatic and lost in her realms. I guess, Marinara will never respond back. She is freaked out by me.
Not her fault, it’s just me, I don’t fall easily but when I do I give it my all.
Where do I fall, you ask?
It’s that devilish, cracked up , god forbidden word called love.
To be continued….
Read More Marinara Episode 2
Priya Ravinder
