Some people say I’m a risk taker, some think I’m selfish or careless, while others think I have commitment issues. Maybe I am all of that, or maybe I just want to experience my life, uninhibited. Whatever be the case, I hate it when life gets too predictable and I can see the outcome of my choices as clear as a person watches life ebb away while on death bed. Although, people around me complain about how I can be a better person, I m not here to please anyone. I’m here to live my life to my definition of fullest and I urge you to do that as well. Do not be bound by the society’s expectation of you. One day as I was wondering what makes me this way I listed the below points below are the reasons.
1. I thrive in the novelty of situations:
Every new situation, circumstance or unfamiliarity offers huge amount of stimulus to the brain. When exposed to new environment the brain considers it as a rewarding stimulus and increases the release of neurotransmitter dopamine which is also called the reward chemical, contributing to feelings of pleasure and satisfaction. This is true for everyone and if you can put in the effort of getting over the fear of uncertainty, the rewards are up for grabs. It often takes a bit of courage to face new uncomfortable situations because they can be painful & the fear of unknown can be difficult to get past.
Call me crazy, but I love the unknown, however I sometimes do tend to get lazy. The good thing about me though is, I recognise when inertia is about to settle in and I make the effort to break that cycle and get going. You too can learn to love new situations, with some conscious practice.
2. Routine bores me
Humans have naturally been explorers and conquerors. You generally get bored when you feel that there is a lot more that you are capable of doing but are not able to for some reason. A sense of unused potential builds up boredom and anxiety and it can lead to quite an unfulfilling life. Unfortunately, very few have the ability to break out of this routine even though boring and wasteful, it gives a sense of security that most don’t wish to leave.
I however, like to be in the driver’s seat of my life rather than being a passenger and allowing people or circumstances to take decisions on my behalf.
3. I know that growth cannot happen in comfort
The only time you can be certain that you are growing is when you are feeling uncomfortable. In order to realise your true potential you need to step out of your safety net. With the ever changing world, the only certainty is the uncertainty. You never know when your safe zone may turn into a hot zone and by the time you realise, it would be too late. Like the story of a frog that is put in a boiling water & has the ability to jump out immediately, but the same frog if put in normal temperature water and is gradually boiled, will keep adapting to the rise in temperature until it cannot anymore, and dies.
I self reflect on my life a lot, and during one such sessions a eureka moment happened to me, I think it was sometime in my mid twenties- I realised that every time I have grown as a person, it was after a period of extreme discomfort. This realisation has made me quite welcoming towards any sort of discomfort or pain, as I consider it a sign of growth.
4. My ambition precedes my laziness
As humans, we are all innately lazy beings. Any form of activity requires effort and we tend to avoid it as a natural response. But a few of us have an inner drive or fire (triggered either internally or externally) pushing us to do better. After a lot of soul searching and self talks, I came to a conclusion that for me, my inner drive comes from my external stimuli.
By nature, I am a competitive person. This means when I surround myself with people better than me, I tend to push myself harder to achieve more. This is one of the main reasons I consciously seek out better connections. Find out what drives you and seek to have more of that in your life.
5. New situation = new opportunities
Success almost always requires you to put yourself in new situations, places, companies etc. That’s where you can discover new opportunities. Neophobia is the fear of anything new. Neophobic people are unwilling to try anything new or reject even minor changes in life.
I personally love meeting new people and most probably have taken the quote “Your net worth = your network” way too seriously to go back now. Meeting new people can open up opportunities that you did not even fathom could exist. You never know who you might meet that may change the direction of your life, a founder, a recruiter, a guide, a best friend, a mentor, a potential business partner… it could be any body!
6. New situations = new experiences & emotions
Doing the same chores everyday, watching same shows, eating same food, visiting same places etc. are antithesis to innovation and ideas. Yes, of course you can build discipline with routine, but not mixing it up with adventure & new experiences is going to be dangerous to your mind. You see because new experiences & emotions make your synapses stronger, and stronger synapses mean improved brain capacity and memory.
One of my favourite quotes is- “A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.” by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. This quote is the reason I’m forever seeking new experiences. After all I have one life and I may as well experience all that I can.
7. I like being a lab rat in my own experiments
Have you ever felt like a spectator in your own life? I do. A part of me becomes a third person & observes the reactions I am capable of. It’s the most enlightening and liberating thing to be a third person in your own world and to observe everything from outside. This is also something that mindfulness teaches you. In a practice called mindfulness, you need to focus on your thoughts, your emotions, your senses, etc.
Often when I get bored, I become my own lab rat. I put myself through challenges and experiments to see if I’m able to cross the hurdles, jump the obstructions & survive in certain situations, conditions etc. After all we are all drifting through life & one day it will all end whether you have lived a saint’s life or a sinner’s, whether you have explored the ways of the world or shied away from it.
8. I get to know the people who are willing to stand by me
The thing about putting yourself constantly into new situations is that it doesn’t always work out the way you intend it to, or the results may not always be positive. When you see yourself falling flat on the ground and see the ones standing by you, that’s when you know who are the unnecessary people who may be occupying your space and time in your life and you get to choose to eliminate them and save your time.
I don’t know if it is just me, but I put everyone around me through tiny little tests all the time to see if they deserve my time and energy. And the ones dear to me, I can proudly say, have stood the test of time.
9. The learning you get out of facing real situations cannot be received from any amount of theories
Some situations are good and some are bad. But one thing is certain- you will learn something from each of them. You can learn many things from online courses, you can read books and try learning from other’s experiences, but something that you learn first hand from doing it yourself is unmatched.
I’ll leave you with this last quote hoping to have created atleast a tiny bit of impact in your life.
“Try new things, step out of your comfort zone, take risks, do things in ways you’ve never done before, ask for help, surround yourself with self-actualized people, become obsessed with the fact that you have one go-round on this planet as the you that is you, and realize how precious and important it is not to squander that.”
Jen Sincero