I run sometimes, from myself and at times from reality. I am too good a runner and hence even if I don’t intend to, everyone is left behind. I am no hero, I never wanted to be one. But for a group of people I am their lone beacon of hope. My name is Albert Zach Baristdor and nobody knows me by the name Alzador. That’s what she used to call me. That’s a different story altogether. I have a unique power. I can neurologically transmit feelings into someone else. I can make anyone happy, excited, sad or even for that matter horny. Jokes apart! I have saved hundreds of people from depression, anxiety, fear and lack of will. I change lives. Ironically, I cannot change mine, I cannot change my own feelings. I am stuck at one for a lifetime. ‘Pretending to feel things’ I do not know what that feeling is called.
You see, my pot of sins was always full and now, by helping others I am kind of absolving my sins. I know how it feels like to be depressed, in awe of nothing, when life is just about waking up and sleeping, when there is no difference between nightmares and reality. Honestly, I do not want anyone else to suffer in the same manner. I do not help them, in turn I help myself. It’s a reason that keeps me alive. And you know, I can fight the bad guys too. I usually don’t, I prefer not to. I can transfer fear into them, sometimes just for fun I even transfer extreme hunger into them.
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Now, how did I get these powers? I don’t know. I just realized I had them one fine day after she left. Oh! Shit. “She” is a different story. This is just about me. I regularly visit mental health care centers, psychiatrists, schools and identify people who need my help. In my spare time I study about human emotions and the hormones associated with them. Every emotion is just a chemical balance or imbalance in our mind, to be frank. My dear friend Dr. Kuriens helps with these studies. He is usually a calm and serene guy but there are things that tick him off. We have gone through every single emotion a human experiences and its consequences. The most futile one, love. It readily combines with every other emotion. It is what fucks us up. It is the only emotion I cannot transfer. Perhaps it is befitting that it needs to develop inside a person. For love cannot be taught, transferred or learnt.
And usually being a Hero has its side-effects. I just discovered mine yesterday. Every time I transfer an emotion to someone else, my cardiac muscles weaken. To put it straight, my heart muscles collapse. I lose about 8 hours of life every-time I help someone.
Fuck, yeah! Who wants to live anyway?
To be continued…..
Read more Alzador Chapter 2
Again, an interesting read.