Dr. Kuriens was in front of me, a manifestation of my fear. My fears were becoming alive, godamn, as if being betrayed by the one you love wasn’t enough. The knife in his hand was inches away from throat. I couldn’t face my fears, I couldn’t face him. I had been a coward all my life.
Many years ago…
I was a six year old when I had realised the reason behind my mother’s bruises. It was my father. He pretended to be the alpha-male, encroaching upon my mother time and again to show his manliness. I had seen it every single night of my life till then. Me and my mother used to outside the door and cry for hours together. She was a firm believer in God, I could never even believe in myself. A fucking atheist I had become crying in my mother’s lap day after day, night after night. It was our daily routine, getting abused mentally and physically by the one who gave me birth, cry it out and wipe our tears hours later. There were salt deposits below my eyelids every single morning. I felt weird the days I didn’t cry.
One such night, my putrid father was excessively drunk, he had a knife in his hand and was about to stab my mother. Of course he was not in his senses, but he had to be stopped. For a six year old child whose entire world was in his mother’s lap, I don’t know which hidden hormone of mine triggered me to stand up to my father that night. I pushed him aside with all my might and rage. he stood back up, dusted himself off and slapped me as hard as he could. My forehead collided with the kitchen sink in the process. Seven days later when I woke up in the hospital again on the lap of my mother, she told me I had a mild concussion which would never be cured. Throughout my childhood and adolescence, the pain intermittently appeared once or twice a year. It happened when my mother passed away because I couldn’t afford her medical bills. But the pained ceased to exist after the nuclear blast. It had never occurred again.
I was trying hard to control my fear, control Dr. Kuriens. I closed my eyes as the knife edge pierced my skin below my jaw. My mother’s lap, where I faced all my fears in the childhood. She was my elixir, after all. I started crying with closed eyes remembering how godly and affectionate she was. The knife, I was feeling it go deeper inside me. Dr. Kuriens was not going to stop. Every single day my father tortured us, I used to cry and let go of my fear of him. I used to sleep fearlessly. I had to do the same again. Only, this time my mother was not there to confide in. I held my tears back, opened my eyes as the knife slowly pierced my skin. I yelled out with all my might. My frustrations were poured out. I felt a bubble bursting inside my head. My nose had started to bleed. The concussion had been burst open by the might of my screaming. I wiped my nose and slapped Dr. Kuriens. It was my time to slap my fears. He disappeared in mid-air, just like my other fears. I looked at Talia, my nose was still bleeding. She was scared, perhaps the time travelling love of my life didn’t understand what I had just gone through. I didn’t her expect to.
Fact was I just needed a lap to cry on all these days, I expected that from Talia, but right now, in a different timeline far away from where I am, I realised, sometimes you just need to be your own hero, you need to sleep on your own lap and cry.
Talia came forward and asked ” Shall we do this? Let’s get back home, both of us?”
“Yeah, let’s do this…” I replied. I still fucking loved her, after all.
To be continued…
Must Read Alzador Chapter 10