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There are times when I feel I have lived the moment once before, that somehow I am breaking the space-time continuum. ‘Deja Vu’ , no it is not deja vu, it is much stronger than that. That earring which was trampled in my hand was not part of any Deja Vu. I placed my palm on my forehead and pressed my elbow hard against the ground. I wish I could  gift myself emotions, perhaps calmness. Life was a mess, people were dying because of me and this time even Dr. Kuriens had no answer. My powers were my curse. An old lady had just died because of me. The picture was not so colorful after all.

Standing at the cliff that symbolised the edge of the city, I looked around in every direction. I wondered why it was called a city, it was just a few huge factories, a river which acted as the drainage outlet, people who could be used as resources, and a giant monument at the center of the city from where the leaders ruled. I looked at my watch, not for the time. i needed to know the date.

’31 March 2026′

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It had been ten years when I had started to learn to live with being unsuccessful.  This day, ten years ago, a nuclear explosion shook the entire nation.  Bangalore, was also affected, however there were underground facilities where people could seek safety. That entire day I searched for her, but she was nowhere to be seen. And when, the bomb was finally detonated, i saw her running towards me and in her wake I could see the nuclear ripples following her.  She grabbed my hand and within a second vaporized in the heat of the fission. I woke up a year later outside Bangalore perfectly alive and in shape. I had no memories of the past one year.

The cliff was around 600 metres high, I held the earring close to my heart. I wanted to go back to the moment where she held my hand, perhaps even stop the detonation altogether. What good is your power when you can only change emotions of people? My mind was a volcano, it was confused. I wanted to jump off the cliff into the abyss below. And on the other hand I knew people needed my help. fuck them! Who would help me?

I sat down on my knees and screamed. That’s what I always do. you see, i have no control over my emotions. And in that instant, I threw the earring away. It was time to let go. i might have cried a bit, i am not  denying that. On the way back, I cured a young child who was constantly crying. It took me a few seconds to get him to smiling ways.

I chose not to meet Dr.Kuriens again that day. It would have been too gratifying. I sat down on the floor and decided to meditate. I needed peace of mind. I closed my eyes, immersed myself in the process and opened my eyes a good half an hour later. I was shocked!

The earring was back in front of me. This time, there were two separate pieces completing the pair.

Fucking hell!!!


To be continued…..

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